Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DONT Suck [MARCH 2018]

See More Glass – Tomorrow
Strangely enough, I had an album by the name of Seymour Glass in my Top 5 back in July of last year. It was by a band called Local Programming. That album has been removed from bandcamp without a trace (good thing I downloaded it when I had the chance). As far as I know, the two bands have nothing in common, other than a shared affinity for the Seymour Glass character from the J.D. Salinger short stories, which I can’t even speak to because I’ve never read them. These guys didn’t even spell it right. I guess we can chalk that up to them being German. At least I think they’re German. I definitely detect an accent, which for some reason, reminds me of a hella-rad Japanese band called Segwei. Am I the only one who thinks Japanese accents and Eastern European accents sound a lot alike when filtered through punk rock? Crap, I just noticed this is the second pressing of the album. It was originally released in 2016. Whatever, I’m pretending it just came out. I already wrote this whole thing.   Listen on Bandcamp

Possum – Come Down
These guys are from Leeds, and I wonder if that’s in the midwest of the UK cuz their band is definitely in the midwest of emo. Isn’t it weird how England is doing midwest emo better than the actual midwest these days? What else are you going to steal from the midwest? That’s correct, there is nothing else in the midwest to steal, unless you’re planning on getting into the corn game. Look, maybe we should stop coming up with regional-specific genres, because it just gets confusing when a band from New Jersey starts playing New York Hardcore. Like wow, get your own hardcore on that side of the river guys, and England should stick to Piccadilly Emo. That would be a shame though cuz then we wouldn’t have Possum, and this EP might be some of the best midwest emo I’ve heard in a while. Step your game up Indiana!   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

Fingerpaint/Hanger – The Sounds Of Parents Fighting (Split)
[Buy it on Amazon!]
Oh, you’ve been sleepin’ on Delaware huh? Well wake up loser! I’m sorry, I don’t think you’re a loser. You really should clean your room though. No, you can’t have a Pepsi. Who drinks Pepsi anyway? Get your life on track. No YOU’RE the one that’s crazy! Anyway this might be the first time I’ve had a split on my Top 5. Clearly both of these bands are bringing their A-game. Why else would I be making such a big deal about Delaware? The way I see it, if a split comes out of Delaware and both bands are this dope, how can every other band in Delaware not be equally as awesome? I’m no arithmatician, but I’m pretty sure that is 100% logical on my part. I suppose you’re wondering what it sounds like at this point. Well you can go ahead and listen to it. What do I look like, some kind of music-discriber? I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you today.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

Weedhawks – Cold Beer Weedhawks & Mountaineers
Oh man, I hope you don’t have allergies cuz this stuff is dusty. Dustier than a chinchilla bath. Dustier than your dashboard after driving all day on a dirt road with your windows down. Dustier than that kid from Stranger Things. Honkier than a Canada Goose and Tonkier than a.. umm.. What is a Tonk anyway? I don’t really know, but I’m pretty sure this album has plenty of it(them?). It’s twisted up, a bit gnarled, old-timey, liquor soaked, soggy-woggy, twangy-wangy, oogie-boogie, fiddly-widdly.. I’ll stop. Sorry I always have a hard time describing this kind of music. Are you getting the gist here? It’s countrty-folk-punk I guess. I don’t want to say cowpunk because I hate that word(hybrid) and I don’t even know what it is, to be honest. I feel like I would be insulted if I had a band and someone called it cowpunk. If you found this post because you googled “soggy-woggy” I have a feeling this is exactly what you were looking for.   Listen on Bandcamp

Kraus – Path [Buy it on Amazon!]
There’s nothing worse than when a really great band is playing on a Sunday night. Wtf am I supposed to do with that? Not go to it, that’s what. I’m a grown up now; I gotta get up early on Monday. It’s a shame too, because this band sounds like they would be completely stupefying live. Like just a wall of flossy noise slowly closing in on you à la Deathstar trash compactor, you’re just standing there like a fool, mouth agape, and just at the last minute when you think you’re about to be squished like an insect, the walls actually consume you and you’re now living within the walls. The walls being the music btw, incase you lost my metaphor. I swear I’m not on drugs right now. I just drank some A&W Rootbeer and ate half a bag of Takis. Hey, you guys are into Takis right? I can’t stop with these Takis, for real. Seriously, I’m not on drugs.   Listen on Bandcamp

ENDNOTES:
There were a ton of great releases in March. It was tough to narrow it down, so make sure you check out the Scrap Heap section for links to all the albums and EP’s that were in the conversation for Top 5.