Throwback 13th (#004)

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“The word “fuck” in a record. You were like, “How did he do that? How’d he say ‘fuck’? KISS doesn’t say ‘fuck.’”

The Dead Kennedys had the ability, that if you weren’t crazy, they made you crazy in 15 minutes. You came in all serene, “I just smoked a joint, I’m cool.” Next thing you know, danana nanana nanana and you were like, “Ahhhh, I’m gonna kill somebody!” That’s what they made you feel like. “Give me something, ahhh!” It’s like my schoolteacher’s on acid and he’s yelling at me!” It’s rad, you’re into it. You’re like, “I’m here. Fuck recess. I’ll pee right here. I don’t need a hall pass!”

I admire Jello. I don’t wanna call him a teacher because that’s probably not what he would want to be referred to as. But his music did that. Like, what the fuck is this? Who the fuck is Pol Pot?” I’m like ten and I can’t listen to a Discharge record unless all the lights are on and my mom’s home, ‘cause it’s scarin’ the shit outta me. A nuclear war? What the fuck? Crucifix is saying 1984, the worlds gonna end, and I’m just like “Ahhh, we got two years to live! I’m 13, I’m never gonna get my wiener sucked.” The things you think about, you know. You got Jello screaming in one ear, Sothira’s screaming in the next. and you’re just like, “Oh fuck. I’m doomed!”

-Lars Frederiksen (Gimme Something Better: The Profound, Progressive, and Occasionally Pointless History of Bay Area Punk from Dead Kennedys to Green Day)

Doesn’t English (#004)

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Ok, I’m about to make some wild assumptions here. Карамельный узник is the name of the band, and it translates, as far as I can tell, to ‘Caramel Prisoner’. Now, perhaps ‘Caramel’ is the closest translation for a term used to describe either Asian-Russians or Aboriginal-Russians, maybe a mix of both? The band is from a city called Yakutsk in a remote part of Eastern Russia. I know these parts of Russia have Aboriginal people similar to Canada’s Inuit, and they may also have Chinese and Mongolians. Based on the youtube videos I’ve seen of the band, I’m assuming they fit into one or more of these minority groups, which is pretty cool if you consider they’re in the middle of nowhere, frozen-hell, Russia, making a fuss with killer punk tunes. If that’s the case (and I know I’ve totally built my own narrative here) then they are using punk in the way it was truly intended. You gotta listen to this.

Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DONT Suck [JULY 2017]

a2711761861_10Basement Revolver – Agatha
Do I dare make the Snail Mail comparison? Let me tell you, Habit by Snail Mail was, arguably, the best sounding thing to happen in 2016. Like not just in music, but sounds in general. Better than children’s laughter by a long-shot. Honestly I’m not even a fan of children or their laughter, so I guess that’s not a good comparison. Look, whatever the best sounding thing you can think of is, Habit probably sounded better than that. This entire paragraph is just one big comparison to Snail Mail. That’s how awesome this EP is. It really doesn’t sound all that much like Snail Mail though, to be honest. Just the way she sings. This isn’t confusing is it?  Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify.

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a1044352850_10Fatesealer – S/T
Hardcore. This is hardcore. The adjective, not the noun. Although it is a little bit the noun too. It’s hard to find the right noun for this. They have tagged themselves as Pre, Mid, & Post, Hardcore.. Your guess is as good as mine. Post-hardcore with a splash of post-punk and two scoops of raisins? You’ll have to listen for yourself. This is one solid LP though. It’s heavy impact, deep and energetic, quick on it’s feet. Can you see yourself rage-punching a speed-bag to this music? I can see you doing that, you weirdo.  Listen on Bandcamp.

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a1431245958_10Von Stache – Quiet, Brain
There’s something in the water in Australia these days. More specifically, sharks! crocodiles! & those fucked up jellyfish! But in addition to all that, there’s something else, something radioactive that’s mutating human beings into awesome punk bands (ie. Von Stache). They’re a two-piece from Geelong Australia; Home of Aussie Football and The National Wool Museum. Together they rock out this slicked back grease-punk stuff. Imagine if Courtney Love was in The Groovie Ghoulies and had an Aussie accent. Now forget all that and check this out. Great album title btw.  Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify.

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a3866553780_10Crouch – Caida
There’s something in the air in Costa Rica these days. More specifically, mosquitos! Ok forget it. I can’t even talk about air quality. I’m currently choking on forest fire smoke. I can’t see the sun today. Hey let’s talk about this EP by Crouch. Partly Englais, partly Espanol, mostly asombroso! The Spanish language really lends itself to warp-speed pop punk doesn’t it? La Puerta is my favorite song. “LA PUERTAAAAAAAA”   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify.

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a3040183310_10Dont Ask – S/T
Some real junky sounding Oakland shit with awesome psychedelic 60’s vocal stylings. The punk rock just never stops flowing from this town. Neither does raw sewage into the San Francisco Bay. I admit, I made up the stuff about the raw sewage, but it’s probably true. It’s kind of weird, this album, it starts off pretty average and just keeps getting better and better, so stick with it if you know what’s good for you.  Listen on Bandcamp.